Japanese Names and Their Meanings

Iruka -dolphin
Kakashi -scarecrow
Koi- love
Koibito -lover
Yondaime- 4th, Fourth
Jounin- elite, upper class, upper patience
Chuunin- average ninja, middle class, medium patience
Hai -Yes






It was a cold and windy night. Iruka could find no rest even as his lover slept soundly by his side under the covers of his futon. The racket from the wind outside was keeping him up as it gust against the windows and back door to his apartment. Tomorrow was a school day and if Iruka was expected to function as an alert teacher tomorrow in class, he needed to gain a good night of sleep for the coming day but it was impossible.

It was as if he was destined to stay awake and although there was plently of things he could do in his spare time to amuse himself, Iruka busied himself with the one thing he promised he wouldn't over analzye.

Why Hatake Kakashi was going out with him?

It wasn't that Iruka didn't like his relationship with the Sharingan user, it was more so, why Kakashi, a man with Kakashi's looks and supremcy would settle down with him. A teacher from the academy and a retired chuunin from his younger days.

Was it pity that Kakashi felt for him,... Afterall, Naruto, as well as two other of his former students were assigned to the jounin as their genin instructor. Or was it that Kakashi held a soft spot for him from the many tales he was sure Naruto had told him while they were on duty.

It couldn't be of his own account, as there was many times he confronted Kakashi. Discrediting him even in front of his comrades as he questioned his decisions that involved his former students.

But Iruka was certain out of all of this, that even before Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura graduated from his class that the Sandaime paved a positive road for them by giving a good word about him to Kakashi, ...to lessen the blow so speaks, of their first encounter, as the Sandaime was very aware of his attachment to Naruto and of the protectiveness he had over him, and how important it was for Kakashi and him to make some sort of connection.

But Iruka was certain that neither the Sandaime nor Naruto expected this connection to turn into something more profusely, like love bound conviction.



At those times, Iruka wonders if it's all for show, or if Kakashi really did love him as he diligently claimed in public as he found himself on more than one occassion threatening bodily harm if he didn't tone it down a bit, as Kakashi got a good laugh at his embarrassment.

But there was also the possibility, one Iruka really didn't want to look into, considering it didn't seem far from the truth by the rumors he had heard circulating around the village, that Kakashi was just around for the convenience of a good lay.

Afterall, Iruka knew there could come a day, when Kakashi decides that what-they-have was just a whimsical go around and in no time Kakashi's packing his bag and hooking up with another man or woman with no explanation or notice until he see's them dining, sharing jokes, holding hands, stealing kisses in public, and then once again, burrowing a place deep in that person's heart until Kakashi loses interest in that person as rumor is told and breaks it off to leave his loved one to fend for themselves in this lonely place called existence, alone and heartbroken.

Which could well so happen to him still, thought Iruka grimly, as he lay unable to sleep as he heard the wind die down outside. But the damage was done.

Iruka had to know now.

Iruka had to know if Kakashi really loved him or if this was just all in his head.



Question’s
Chapter 01



****
Iruka's face flushed in shame for asking this but if he didn't ask, he was sure he would never be able to look into Kakashi's eyes again, regardless how alluring they were, "Kakashi-san," Playing with the cover corner with his finger, Iruka nervously peered out at the door of his bedroom. He stilled when he felt the man in question stir beside him.

"Hmm?" came the sleepy reply.

As shuffling insued under his covers, Iruka swallowed a lump of nervousness, as Kakashi, whom had tucked his head underneath the covers earlier to conserve body heat, replied to him in a dazed-like murmur, "What Iruka?"

"Um,..." started Iruka but stopped.

"Um what, Iruka?" came Kakashi's warm yet sleep coated voice. He pulled the thick material to them, his body snuggling more in the made-up cocoon warmth that was half-of-the-futon and half-of-Iruka. Perking his hearing as his eyelids remained shut, Kakashi waited patiently for Iruka to continue. When he didn't, Kakashi found himself slipping blissfully back into his dream of licking whip cream off Iruka-sensei's clotheless body.

This was it,..Now or never, or so Iruka told himself as he mustered up the courage to announce his question, "Do you think you'll ever love me," Curious wonder filled his voice, as Iruka fought back the tears, if the answer was indeed no.

Caught off guard by the unexpectant question, Kakashi sat up from underneath the covers. All traces of sleep wiped from his face as he threw the covers from his head. He rounded on Iruka, his eyes of color difference wide as he couldn't help but look at the dolphin in disbelief, his silver brows furrowing.

Iruka shook quietly, as he felt Kakashi-san's burning gaze. At that moment, his chest sounded and he wondered if Kakashi could hear the racing of his heart.

Scooting closer to his koi, Kakashi shortened the distance between them and took Iruka into his arms. When Iruka jerked in his arms, Kakashi disregarded the reaction and instead spooned his body against Iruka's small frame.

Iruka gasped as Kakashi's need pressed up against his backside and thigh. He almost came apart when Kakashi rested his chin on his shoulder as he was hugged closely in a lover's embrace.

Settling, Kakashi splayed the side of Iruka's scarred face with his lukewarm breath, as he went about controlling his breathing by how close he had Iruka to him and how hard it was for him to not just take him right here.

Iruka shivered up against Kakashi-san, as his spine tingled from top to bottom by the warmth of Kakashi's naked chest and by the earlier puff of air. It wasn't hard for him to melt against his koi, and forgetting what he started, too wrapped up in pleasure of this moment, Iruka let out a content sigh, as his mind drifted off as he sensually pushed back against the head of Kakashi's need.

Feeling the pulse as well the comfort that Kakashi was by his side.

Kakashi shuttered, holding Iruka tightly to him. "Iruka, you don't have to ask that, because I do." he tried to reassure his insecure school teacher but the sincerity of it was lost by his body's demands. Knowing this and knowing he brought Iruka unwittingly back into the conversation at hand, Kakashi's voice became tight with emotion as Iruka will never believe how deeply he cared for him unless he showed some sort of self-control over his body.

With great difficulty, Kakashi laid still as Iruka teased the head of his manhood. In subtle retaliation, Kakashi nuzzled Iruka's cheek affectionately with his own cheek, his unshaved whiskers grazing against Iruka's baby fine skin by making sweet friction and distracting him enough from just taking Iruka here, regardless how tempting Iruka was making it for him..

More in control of himself, Kakashi sighed wearily as the temtation passed and was instead very glad to have his koibito so close to him. Dropping his chin, he rested it on Iruka's collarbone.

Seeing that Kakashi wasn't taking the bait, Iruka stopped rubbing himself against Kakashi-san's need, and felt guilty for making him hard. Clearing his throat, Iruka berated himself for taking the older man's mind off the matter at hand, "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. No, really, do you think you'll ever be able to,.. well, love me."

Kakashi blinked, troubled. He looked at the man in his arms, as his Sharingan eye widened in alarm. Was Iruka-sensei really this fickle of them?

"Kakashi-san?"

'Hai.' thought Kakashi, accepting this new uncovered fact. Kakashi sighed, his lips curved down, glum, "Iruka..." he called, contemplating whether,...

"Yeah?" hope laced in Iruka's voice that even made Kakashi wince by the complications of his lover's belief in him. Of their love.



Kakashi held Iruka tighter to him, desperate to comfort his koi. An insecurity rose that had never been present and it hammered at the inside of his temple as well as his troubled heart, "What brought this on?" asked Kakashi, dumbstruck by all this. He needed to know. This was so unlike his Iruka. Unless, Iruka had hid this side of him from his eyes. For personal reasons, he supposed.

"Huh?" answered Iruka, blinking, at a lost, "What do you mean, what brought this on?"

"What it sounds like," compiled Kakashi; his mismatched eyes narrowing, not backing down. Gently, he flipped Iruka over, so that the academy teacher was facing him. As Iruka stared at him with an uncertainty, Kakashi began rubbing Iruka's stomach with his hand. His mind straining to be attentive to listen to what else his koi had to say.

Iruka hesitated but eventually gave in to his lovers mournful gaze, "I guess..." paused Iruka thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've been thinking about this ever since you first committed to me...," admitted Iruka at last, his troubled voice trailing off. His cheeks and neck flushed hotly in front of Kakashi-san's blank gaze.

Squirming uncomfortably, Iruka tried to break free of Kakashi-san's hold, as the silver haired man continued to evilly rub at his belly, with tickling fury. Not expected the next bit, Iruka jolted in his koibito's arms, as his koi's fingernail brushed up against his groin, in possible revenge for earlier.

Kakashi chuckled, dropping a kiss on Iruka's forehead.

Iruka glared down at the mischievous hand, his own need stirring awake, as the kiss that was just placed on his forehead, was far from his mind. Determined more than ever to get how he felt off his chest, before they BOTH get distracted, Iruka continued, "I mean... I know before you met me... that you'd loved the Yondaime."

Kakashi's hand stopped suddenly and Iruka was grateful with relief, even though deep down inside, he knew he was dropping a huge bomb that could end, disastrously for the both of them, "If he hadn't... well, if the Fourth was still alive, I know eventually he would of given back your feelings as well.”

"...I suppose," whispered Kakashi, increasingly growing troubled by his lovers comment.

It was true that he first loved his sensei when he was a child but it was Iruka who he loved as an adult. Even if for some reason, his sensei was alive, Kakashi knew that he would pick Iruka over his sensei, regardless with what it would make him look like.

So what was Iruka trying to get at? Did he think that... that he would of chosen his sensei over him?

Kakashi's heart lurched at the vary thought that Iruka would think that.

Bending his gaze away, Kakashi stared unblinkingly down at the golden plains of his koi's chest. There were little scars that marred the tanned surface. Unlike his own, which was covered in fresh and old scar's from far more missions that one man should have to undertake.

"I just wondered if your heart was still open enough to allow me inside like it had for him," spoke Iruka, as he looked at Kakashi-san, expectantly.

"I wouldn't be with you if it hadn't." explained Kakashi in a harsh whisper. Kakashi's grip tightened unreasonably around Iruka's waist, whom let out a squeak of momentarily pain. Crushing his body to that of Iruka, Kakashi buried his face in the crook of the scarred teacher's neck, damaged that Iruka lacked confidence in how he felt about him.

This went by Iruka as though it never existed, "No..."

"No?" mimicked Kakashi, his agitation collecting by the allistation in his lovers voice. Both eyes of color difference narrowed, displeased. Grounding his teeth, Kakashi bit back any further ridiculing comments he would have directed towards the man in his arms.

"I think it's that you yearn for love and acceptance from somebody, anybody. If you never found interest in me, I think eventually someone would have come along and would have been able to give you what you needed," drawled Iruka in conclusion.

"You're wrong," growled Kakashi, reaching his psychological limits with his lover. He couldn't understand why Iruka was saying this. He just knew it tore fragilely at the feeling he held for the younger man.

"Am I really?" wondered Iruka outloud but silently disgusted with himself for pointing it out.

That was it. "What do I need to do to prove to you that you are the one I love?!" demanded Kakashi, flustered beyond belief. Rolling his lover onto his back, he overhung Iruka's body, as he stared hard and unforgiving into Iruka's startled face.

Anger dissipating, Kakashi realized that the eye's that reflected back to his own, were dull and lacking liveliness. That, Kakashi had to admit, he hadn't seen, until now.

"Iruka..." Reaching a hand out to touch Iruka's face, Kakashi's left eye filled with unshed tears. Before his hand reached though, he cowardly dropped it to lay limply on the covers beside them. 'Was this his fault?' he thought, dishearteningly.

"Hai, Kakashi-san?" inquired Iruka, prying.

"Did I do this?" asked Kakashi, brokenly. He brushed a loose brown lock back that fell from his koi's bound hair, his hand trembling. A noise sounded in his chest, clutching at his abused heart at the possibility. They did have their differences in the past. Maybe he had.....

Iruka titled his head back and closed his eyes thoughtfully, thinking. Was this man really responsible for the cavity in his chest? 'Of course not.' Opening his eyes, Iruka answered, "No, no, it wasn't you," corrected Iruka, not wanting to worry the man he considered his koibito. Pushing up on his elbows, Iruka left a light peck on Kakashi-san's nose, startling the older instructor.

"Iruka!" came the fearless shinobi's cry.

'Something which was rare to see in this man,' thought Iruka, humorly in a humorless situation.

An arm flung out and knocked over the lampshade that was on the nightstand beside them both. With the bulb broken from the fall, the room was then swallowed in darkness.



Iruka watched amused as Kakashi settled down, "Hai, Kakashi-san?" he smiled, while scratching the scar on his nose with his finger, innocently enough. Like he hadn't caused that.

Kakashi just looked at him. Looked at Iruka in the darkness.

Undisturbed, Iruka coughed out a laugh, “You do realize, you owe me a new lamp, right?” Deep jet-black stared tenderly into his lovers still bewildered blue and crimson diluted pupils.

Coming back to his senses, Kakashi couldn't help but squirm under the gaze that was directed at him in the dark. He was at a total loss. It was like seeing two different person's and in a way, that unnerved him, more than he thought it would.

"Kakashi-san,"

Blindly, Iruka reached out to take a hold of Kakashi's hand, wanting it to be with his own but Kakashi moved away from Iruka.

Too much activity was going on and in Kakashi's opinion, he needed to clear his mind first before he discussed any further issue Iruka had with him, "I should go," was his only answering response to the school teacher.

With his worst fear close to mind, Iruka blanched and allowed his searching hand to fall away.



Hearing no complaint of his leave, Kakashi sighed and unstraddled himself regretfully from his koibito's waist. He gathered his jounin uniform from the floor and made sure to stay cleared of the mess he caused, not wanting to cut the soles of his feet with the shards of broken glass from Iruka's table lamp. By right, he should sweep it up. But for now, he was just going to let it go, until later.

Iruka grew troubled. He dropped his gaze to the bed sheet, as everything became much clearer to him now, "So, it is true. You don't love me...” he said outloud, his voice cool as ice.

Kakashi stopped in retrieving his patience uniform and directed his back to Iruka, unable to face him, "No..." he replied quietly, staring down at the wooden floor.

'No, you don’t love me or no, you do love me. Which was it?' thought Iruka, confused by the vague answer.

"Then..." Iruka's mouth went dry. He caught onto the sheet and fisted it in his hand, frustrated, "Then, why are you leaving me?" he asked calmly, but in truth, he wanted to bellow out his complaint..

"I need some time to think." But before Iruka had a chance to address him, Kakashi interrupted, "Alone."

'Alright, I get it,' Understanding but not really understanding, Iruka nodded small, his hand unclenching the cover in his fist, defeated. He too directed his back to Kakashi. Pulling the covers closely to him, Iruka concentrated on blocking Kakashi's presence from his mind.

It wasn’t hard.

As Iruka made no further revelation, Kakashi took his time to change into his uniform in silence. He pulled his underwear on and then his pants.Afterwards, he slipped his long sleeved navy blue shirt over his head and pulled it over his chest. Next he took his leaf forehead protector, and tied it over his Sharingan eye, concealing it once more. From there, Kakashi slipped into his sandals and tugged his gloves on. He didn't bother to put on his vest or his mask. Instead, he gripped his vest and mask into his gloved hand, and made his way across the room to the door, his posture slouched.

Stopping before the door, his hand posed on the doorknob, Kakashi hesitated in his exit.

He didn't really want to go but he had too.

Glancing back one last time, Kakashi looked at Iruka's bundled form in the darkness. A deep sadness spread in his chest as he gazed at the young school teacher. 'Was this the end for them or were they going through their first dispute as a couple?'

Not knowing which one it was but knowing whom would be able to help him to distinguish it, Kakashi decided that he'll come back in the morning to repair any damage he might of caused.

For now, he knew it was best that he left before their arguement esculated further. Twisting the knob, Kakashi opened the door and let himself out.

If he hadn't been so distracted in his own thoughts, Kakashi would of rethought his leave if he had heard the muffled sob inside Iruka's bedroom as he closed the door to Iruka's apartment.