Sick him, Grover

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"Is there,...really no one left for me," thought Tenzo to himself, dismayed.

The young dark-haired anbu operative with the head plate, watched sadly as Kakashi-senpai opened the door to a bashful Umino Iruka. A lone chunnin that worked as an instructor at the Ninja Academy. In Kakashi's hands were a bag of Ichiraku take-out and a bouquet of freshly cut hydrangea.

Amongst this display of affection, Tenzo heard a scuff behind him and craned his head back to see whom was there with him. To his surprise, he found the unmistakeable silhouette of a very known man regarding him.

"You're a poor excuse of a human being, if you're sniveling around here like some lovesick fool."

Too crushed to care that he must look pathetic before one of the legendary sannin's eyes, Tenzo slumped against the stone wall and let out a pathetic whimper, as Jiraiya stepped out from the darkness of the alley and tobbled over him; his hands planted on his hip in an act of disdainment.

"But Jiraiya, Senpai wouldn't appreciate me spying on him. I have to be conspicuous."

"Hmph. Why don't you go back to you're kennel, Yamato? Kakashi just isn't into sleeping with men. Believe me, I've tried."

"Wait. . .what? You mean you've tried to shag, Kakashi.."

"Well, yeah, who wouldn't?"

Tenzo was awestrucked by Jiraiya's statement-confession but knew there would be more from the older man or why else would the frog sannin bother to reveal himself to him?

"It happened a few years back, when I took Naruto out of the village to get some training in. I dropped Naruto off at the Inn we would be staying at for a few nights, when I happened to run into Kakashi, there in the village. Kakashi informed me, he had been conducting some business that the Konoha council sent him to do on their behalf and since he was there, I had asked if he wanted to get a late night meal in, before he wrapped things up and headed back home. He agreed and we set off."

Tenzo listened intently, scribbling down every gritty detail Jiraiya spoke of in his memo pad, so that by some minuscule chance he could get Kakashi to go out with him... or at least show some other interest in him, beside helping Naruto train and utilize his chakra.

As he recounted the incident, Jiraiya dropped a sloppy grin in rememberance, and his eyes squinted in a pervish fever, "For once, Kakashi seemed glad to see me. I could tell he was unnerved over something... Now that I think about it. I think someone might of been following him but Kakashi didn't bring it up at all when he went to the Inn with me to eat. We ended up ordering King Crab and some miso soup. For some reason, Kakashi didn't want any sake to warm his bones for the coming cold night."

"Jiraiya, get back to the story. Genma and Asuma have already filled me in of what Kakashi likes to eat. All I want to know is what happened with you and Kakashi-senpai? So skip the leading up details."

"I see someone has their balls in a brunch."

"Jiraiya,..." replied Tenzo in a irritable tone, sighing by the perverseness of this great man. A tarnish in his otherwise ideal character.

"Well, since Kakashi finally settled down to a cup of tea, I guess I drank for him."

Tenzo stared at Jiraiya like he was some sort of buffoon, "So pretty much, you had the honor to be in Kakashi-senpai's company and you got plastered."

Jiraiya's eyebrow twitched and he withheld himself from bopping the anbu soldier over the head by his smarty-ass mouth, "Jeez, I wouldn't say that, Yamato, but the booze was on the house for the night. So why resist? Besides, it was ladies night and obviously the bartender mistaked Kakashi as a lady, even though I was downing all his freebies."

"I doubt anyone would think Kakashi is feminine looking."

"You've got to admit, with the mask it's kind of hard to tell and it isn't unlikely for women to get a boy's hair cut these days. Look at Anko. But since Kakashi eats only the minimum, I bet because of his lanky form, the bartender thought Kakashi was a she, instead of a he."

"Whatever, get to the part where Kakashi turned you down."

"Boy, if you weren't so impatient, Yamato, I was about to get to that," sighed Jiraiya, "Jeez, kids these days. Always so pushy. It's like the generation before doesn't have much sense in their heads on how to talk back to their elders."

"Jiraiya, I can hear you," spoke Tenzo, dead-panning but inwardly, he was getting annoyed by the sannin's mouth. Kakashi was all that was on his mind beside training Naruto, that is.

"Well, why don't you think I said it aloud? I knew you were."

"Come on Jiraiya, I need to know where you went wrong so I'll have a shot at Kakashi-senpai."

"So hidden motives are coming out in the open."

Tenzo gave Jiraiya a flat and numb-chilling look, if Jiraiya wasn't already use to such tactics.

"Nah, look, I went wrong because I was too plastered and Kakashi thought it wasn't right for anyone to take advantage of me. Me of all people. Well, Kakashi asked where I was staying and walked me there. When we were before the door that lead to Naruto and my apartment, I leaned over, pulled down his mask and gave him a wet one. The next thing I knew, Kakashi was shoving me off him and I swear he loosened a tooth in my mouth by the punch he delivered me."

"You dared kiss Kakashi with your frog breath."

'Frog,...' Jiraiya's eyes widened in rage, 'Why that little punk!?' But he calmed down when he realized Yamato was just jealous he got one in and he didn't. Sighing, he told the rest of his story, "With no apology, with no explanation, Kakashi left me there before our room and left. Later, when I regained my senses, I realized I had acted like a horny slobbering mutt, like Kakashi was some cheap prostitute for me to score,... or so that's the reason I came up on my own. We haven't exactly came across each other since then unless you count when Tsunade called us in a meeting to talk about Naruto but words were sparse even then with him."

Tenzo didn't have to hear anymore. He held up his hand for Jiraiya to stop. He heard all he needed to but that didn't automatically count him out by what he learned. Sometimes people could be so blind, "I can see why Kakashi reacted the way he did with you."

Jiraiya lifted an eyebrow but allowed the younger man to say what was on his mind.

"You came out of nowhere, showing no previous interest in him. You also have a bad habit of sleeping with any women available to you after your nightly binge drinking. Kakashi must of felt used and like some thrown away lay."

"Jeez, thanks for summing it up like that, Yamato. It's not like I went out of my way to do that. It just happened."

"But I'm not exactly certain that Kakashi is turned off of the same sex partnership."

"Hmm?"

"Kakashi only reacted that way because of your bad timing and because he didn't want you to be taken advantage, so he accompanied you home. Than you turned the tables around on him, and tried to woo him over with a kiss, without regarding how Kakashi felt."

"All right, I think spying too much has shut down your reasoning skills."

"No, Kakashi just didn't want either of you to get hurt. After all, you might of woke up and regretted sleeping with him and Kakashi would of been hurt. Plus, let's not forget Naruto was in the room at the time." Tenzo took a break to catch his breath. He could see how much his word's were affecting Jiraiya, so he continued, "Kakashi was only protecting you both. So pretty much, I still have a shot at asking him out on a date."

"..."